How God Used An iPhone Screensaver to Speak to Me

Photo by #shereadstruth

Thanks to #SheReadsTruth I have this photo saved on my phone as my lock screen saver. It's a wonderful tool for ladies who want to memorize scripture. For me, since I'm always checking my phone for one reason or another, it's been a great help. Whenever I check my phone, I see the verse and repeat it a couple of times, trying to get it to sink in.

I've had this particular photo as my lock screen saver for a couple of days now. You'd think it would have sunk in by today, but it didn't. But I'm glad it finally did!

You see, about a month ago God asked me to take a big giant leap of faith and do something I wasn't even considering -- lead not one, but TWO outreach teams this summer! Really. You'd think I would've been excited (I am) but instead I started freaking out a little bit (a lot). In my mind I started thinking of all the reasons why I couldn't go...

• I don't have enough paid vacation days
• I don't have the money to go
• I'm pretty sure my husband will freak out (and he has)
• I know other people on the team that could lead better than me (and they would)
• I don't have my passport
• I have bladder issues
• I have anxiety issues

The list could go on and on. 

But, you say, isn't this your calling in life? The very gift and passion that God put in you as a 13 year old girl? Didn't you spend the last 15 years of your life doing missions/outreach work?

Um, yeah.

Funny enough, the answer to all those questions is a resounding "YES!" From the time I was 13 years old I knew what I was called to do in life. Missions/outreach is and will always be my calling, my gifting, and my passion.

So what's the problem?

Trust. I have trust issues.

And what's that got to do with the photo that's your lock screen saver?

Back to that. So this morning as I was reading and repeating this scripture, it dawned on me... God is speaking those very words to me.

PEACE....I AM SENDING YOU.

When God spoke to me a month ago to take this giant leap of faith to go to Chicago and Mexico, He knew I was going to freak out for all the reasons I listed above and more. Like the fact that this Sunday was the first financial deadline for both outreaches and I didn't even come close to reaching the goal. Or that my car is having major issues. Or that Sallie Mae keeps calling my phone but I just keep ignoring her.

God is going to give me peace in the midst of my doubt because He is the one who called me to go. He is sending me. HE IS SENDING ME. He has a plan and purpose for this summer, of that I have no doubt. And I'm excited to be a part of whatever He has planned!

(If you want to help God send me, CLICK HERE to donate!)

When was the last time you were anxious about something and heard God speak to you through His word?

Show Me the Scars

As followers of Jesus, I think we've got it set in our minds that it is not OK to question our faith.  (In fact, I wrote about this topic a few weeks ago.)  I also think we believe that we have to have faith like Abraham, Noah, or Peter.  You know, the type of faith that's unwavering.  Like Abraham moving to a foreign land he'd never seen.  Or building a boat like Noah even when he had never seen rain.  Or walking on water like Peter.  No big deal, right?!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am not like any of these guys!  Yes, I've had my moments where my faith has been sure and strong.  I've trusted God when He said move to India for 5 months.  I had faith that He would provide the finances and make sure I stayed healthy.  My faith never waivered when He called me into full-time missions for 6 years.


But, to be honest, I am much more like Thomas - the doubting disciple.  You know what?  I'm OK with that, for the most part.  You know what else?  Jesus is too.

After Jesus' death and resurrection, He appears to His disciples.  Except Thomas wasn't there, so he didn't believe the disciples when they told him they'd seen Jesus.  In fact, he said he wouldn't believe unless Jesus showed him the scars.  A week later, Jesus appears to His disciples again, and this time Thomas was present.  Jesus comes to Thomas and says, "see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side."

You see, Jesus isn't afraid of our questions and our doubt.  He's OK with us wanting to see and touch.  Like Thomas, when we reach out and touch Him, we believe.  When we ask questions, we grow closer to Jesus.

Here's the challenge, though - Jesus tells Thomas to "stop doubting and believe."  As we grow and mature in our relationship with Jesus, one day there will undoubtedly come a time when He tells us the same thing.  Stop doubting and believe. 

Are you like Thomas?  Has Jesus ever said to you, "stop doubting and believe"?

Is Questioning Your Faith OK?

This summer I am participating in Marla Taviano's Summer Read-A-Long.  Each participant is reading Rachel Held Evans' book Evolving in Monkey Town.  I picked up a copy of Rachel's book a year ago at a discount store and had every intention of reading it, but never did.  Good thing, I guess.  ;)

Anyway, this week the assignment was to read the preface and introduction to the book.  Then we were to go to Marla's blog and answer some questions.  If you want to know the questions and my answers, go find them in the comments.

I say that because what I really want to focus on in this post is the premise of Rachel's book - questioning.  Some would say that anyone of faith who questions their faith is way out of line.  That faith is some sort of blind acceptance.  You know, faith is believing without seeing.  So questioning one's faith means you don't have any faith at all.  But is that really true?

My faith journey started as a young girl.  I was only 10 when I started going to church regularly and when I heard about Jesus.  It was at that same age that I accepted Him into my heart and began the nearly 25 year journey.  As a young girl and young teen, I didn't question my faith.  I accepted what the children's church teachers said and what my youth pastor and pastor taught.

The older I got, the more I loved to learn.  I also loved to debate.  It was natural for me to want to learn how to debate all sides of the argument.  So I learned, researched, and questioned.  I went through missionary training school in my 20s (having felt called as a 13 year old to be a missionary) and was exposed to many different ways of thinking in my faith.  Then I went to college, and eventually earned my Masters degree.  All along the way, I've questioned my faith.  I've questioned others faith.  I've wrestled with the existence of God, the problem of evil, and on and on and on.  I still have questions.  I still wrestle.

Like Rachel says in Evolving, "I had to take a closer look at what I believed and find out what was truly essential."  In turn, my questioning hasn't led to doubt or disbelief.  Instead, it's brought me closer to Jesus.  And for that, I'm thankful.

Do you think it's okay to question your faith?  Have you ever questioned your faith?  If so, has it led to doubt & disbelief, or has it caused you to grow deeper in faith?